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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you want out of a confrontation?

Don’t do it until you know this and have consulted an attorney.

Even if you don’t want a divorce, he might.

Good luck. [/quote]

I think this is part of my problem - i don’t know what i want.  Maybe I do want a divorce. 
What I want to know is how much she means to him, and whether he still loves me.  But maybe confrontation wouldn’t get me these answers!
Re attorney - I outearn him and have some separate assets but I guess as our finances are so intertwined I should talk with an attorney to see how a split would work. [/quote]

Unless those assets were transferred as gifts or inheritance, those are not separate. I don't understand how the "out earners" never get this.[/quote]

The way she worded it, I assumed inheritance. But OP it doesn’t really matter, there’s a very good chance here that one of you will want a divorce and then you have to get divorced. So you may as well meet with an attorney and know the landscape and any important strategies before you have the conversation.

One way to think of this is that you’re in the “life upheaval” stage of life anyway. Most people I know in the pre-retirement empty nest phase have something that upends their life unexpectedly. Illness, death, financial hardship or windfall, adult child going off the rails, high needs grandchildren, something. Sounds like you might have drawn gray divorce. [/quote]

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