Reply to Concerned about Lack of Interest in Extracurricular Activities: what did I do wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous]Parent of teens and young adults here.

I think it's a problem if the underlying reason is anxiety and the fear of being in new environments with new people. My daughter has social anxiety and I've always had to insist she join activities. My son was always willing to try things, even though he's a homebody too and would rather play read or video games at home.

I hate over-scheduling kids, and throughout my kids' childhoods, I always respected their wishes to have downtime at home. However for their health I insisted on one physical activity (gym, horseback riding, whatever they wanted), and for my music lover's sake, I insisted on a music activity. I didn't actually need to insist too much for that, because we're all music lovers in the family. My son joined the Strathmore Children's Choir and my daughter takes private music lessons and is in MCYO (Maryland Classic Youth Orchestra). They were/are in a weekend native language school, and did various other things besides.

The goal isn't to bulldoze over their wishes, but to:
1. Strengthen social skills/ work on shyness, exercise the body and mind;
2. Find something they're good at and enjoy, which will bolster their confidence and self-esteem. They'll need that during the tumultuous years of adolescence! Please find it before they're teens!

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