Reply to How should I advise DD on these “mean girl” friendships?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You should say "maybe".

Because guess what maybe they will be friends again, maybe they will mature and change and grow, maybe they will apologize at some point or be better friends.  They are all kids.  [b]It doesn't excuse bad behavior but[/b] [b]I 100 percent guarantee your DD has not been a nice girl every minute of her life[/b] so far and you'd want other people to give her room to grow.[/quote]

It absolutely sounds like you are trivializing bullying by making everyone who is not "a nice girl every single minute of their lives" the same.

They are not the same. And lot of mean girls continue to be mean adults. They don't miraculously grow up and mature at some later point - [I]this is their growing and up maturing[/i].

[/quote]

DP but I had an experience like OP’s DD when I was in middle school.  I got back on good terms with my elementary school best friends again in high school.  It was fine — sure there was some meanness in middle school but I got close with other friends and she probably had a worse time dealing with all that popular kid drama.  She’s a very nice adult now.  I don’t really think of ignoring old friends/flaunting new ones as bullying.  It’s not nice for sure but it’s not the hair pulling and name calling and rumor spreading that I got from the actually mean kids.  So I agree with the “maybe” PP.[/quote]

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