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[quote=Anonymous]I was always very close with DH’s maternal grandfather. He was always very nice to me, and he accepted me as one of his own. DH and his mom have always have a really contentious relationship, always cutting off contact and then starting the cycle all over again. After one of their biggest disagreements, and during one of their longest bouts of no-contact, his grandpa tried his best to get DH to forgive his mother, guilting him with the usual “but she’s family” lines. He politely told him it wasn’t going to happen, not yet, not for him, not this time. That’s when grandpa turned on DH, saying some really cruel and hurtful things, and DH stopped talking to him, too. Then grandpa fell sick, was hospitalized and quickly, within the day, died. Sometime during his hospitalization, he sent me a text: “I just wanted you to know I’m sick.”

I never told DH. At the time we didn’t even know he was in the hospital and so I thought, you’re not going to use me to get to DH. But then we found out he had died. Immediately after I still didn’t tell DH because I thought, why upset him? Nothing can be done now. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. Plus, the man was dying and it’s possible he didn’t even mean to text me. It’s been years and DH still harbors hurt over the final treatment of his grandfather, and I don’t think I’ll ever tell him about the text. But somehow the text and the burden of its secret, and what might have happened HAD I told DH about it (would they have reconciled and been able to speak one final time?) and it feels like a huge burden and I feel absolutely horrible about it, and so guilty. [/quote]

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