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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure where to post since these topics are across forums. I'm looking for advice because I am feeling beaten down and exhausted by work, childcare and parental expectations, and marital expectations. My third child is nine months and my older children are early elementary and preschool ages. My husband is amazing and does a lot to help around the house and is a very present parent when he is home. He does not travel but is in the office five days a week and works long days. We have a nanny who provides coverage during the week - she works nine hours a day. As our children age my invisible work continues to increase. Managing kid logistics is tough for me on top of my job because I have ADHD and am a perfectionist when it comes to my kids. I want to get everything right and that can create anxiety which further bogs me down.

I've been back at work for three months since my youngest was born and after a nearly two week work trip where I had both the flu and bacterial mastitis I am trying to catch up on everything and I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. My husband is also exhausted and overwhelmed. This is definitely made worse by the fact that I still nurse my youngest multiple times a night. We have almost no parental help and pay a lot for our incredibly small village. My husband and I make roughly the same amount of money but he has a large team and I am an individual contributor. I am in the succession plan at my company and have been told I am on track for a promotion in the next few years which would come a few years before my boss retires. My husband also seems to be up for a huge promotion next year. If he got that promotion he would make 1.5-2x what he currently makes and what I make. Given this, I'm trying to support him with his career growth while also not messing up my own trajectory. I'm trying to give him as long a rope as I can because I want him to get a promotion and he has supported me a lot in my career over the past few years - it's my turn. It's hard though because I want him to help more with the kid stuff but I feel like he's maxed out. How do people navigate this? I read comments on here that childcare help, yard help, and house cleaning will help in this situation. We do that. We could increase all that incrementally but to me that won't solve for the burnout and exhaustion that we both feel.

Thank you in advance for only providing positive and constructive comments.[/quote]

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