Reply to My parents are bull$hitters and I'm tired of playing along

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure why the "troll police" jumped on this so quickly.  I don't see anything trollish about this post.  However, I am always skeptical of a one-sided horrible parent story, especially when the poster admits that the parents don't think they were horrible and still want to have contact with their kids.  I feel like there is a lot of revisionist history - and some of it from "therapists" - which leads young adults these days to believe they should hate their parents for the horrible abuse they suffered (which is usually just imperfect parenting).

OP, you really need to understand that parenting doesn't come with a handbook.  It comes with nothing, and we don't get any help or support to do it, and have no idea if we're doing it right.  Plus, most of us are exhausted and sleep-deprived and trying to deal with our own crap the whole time.  Most parents do their best.  But they are not perfect.  And isn't it possible that some of your history is revisionist, and not just theirs?

Unless you suffered truly obvious abuse - and I mean like locked in a closet and deprived food kind of abuse - then I think you need to try forgiving them for not being perfect.  It's easy to see everything they did wrong in hindsight, but a lot harder when you are in it.  Don't you have any empathy for them now that you have your own child?  Have you tried imagining yourself with multiple children when you were much younger, and with no education?  I think your therapist has done you no favors, frankly.  [/quote]

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