Reply to Why can’t I get my abusive ex out of my head?

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[quote=Anonymous]Last fall (4 months ago), my boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up. Our relationship was basically a trauma bond, and he was verbally, though not physically, abusive during our second year of dating. (During our first year of dating, he was the kindest, most respectful person I had ever met). He has a long history of substance abuse, and during our second year of dating, he struggled with his sobriety and his personality changed completely from a sweet, caring guy to someone with a lot of mood swings and anger towards me. We had been planning to get married and have kids together, so I think I’m sad about the loss of that future together (when he wasn’t on drugs).

Our relationship is over, and I have a great new boyfriend. Why can’t I get my ex out of my head? I find myself wanting to text or talk to him. I’ve already tried blocking him, etc. He doesn’t reach out to me, so why am I tempted to reach out to him? I obviously am not planning on getting back together with him. Just struggling with wanting to see what he is up to. [/quote]

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