Reply to Desperately need DH to step up and it isn’t happening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a son with severe medical problems.

I’ve always been the higher earner. Over the last few years, I was trying to balance hospital stays/treatments/therapies/meds with a stressful full time job that wouldn’t give me any grace, and a DH who just wouldn’t pull his weight no matter what I did (couples counseling, begging him for help, lists/signs/reminders, outsourcing, I even filed for divorce at one point).

It finally broke me and I quit my job a few months ago because it became impossible for me to continue taking care of DS (and our other child) and our home.

Since then I’ve found part time work that pays $150/hour and I’m working 10-15 hours per week, but it’s still MUCH less than before.

DH works part time. I’ve begged him to find another job. I’ve applied for jobs for him. I’m trying to rent out our house and move us to a smaller apartment.

DH just will not step up and he will not collaborate with me. Whenever we talk he either refuses to acknowledge me or just says a bunch of platitudes about how it will all work out.

I know this problem is too complex to get good answers here, but what do I do? My family’s financial situation is growing dire. I have job opportunities that would pay the same as before but I CANNOT go back to what our life was before. I cannot do it.[/quote]

All things being equal, would it be better to go back to full-time at the higher salary and hire help than continue to take the part-time income and feel stretched?

It wouldn't solve your relationship issues but it might help financially.[/quote]

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