Reply to I start looking like my mom, and I understand her negativity late in life much better

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In my mid-forties I gained a lot of weight and started looking exactly like my mom. It is terrifying. When I was in my 20s nobody would have guessed that she was my mother.

Back then I didn't understand why, when I was a teenager, my mother became mean. Now I understand. It came from self-hatred. Previously she had been pretty, too. I am really working on not being so mean-spirited as she is.

Anybody else feels like you have morphed into your mother?[/quote]

Right there with you, look in the mirror and see my mother all the time these days, including her sad face.  I always felt my mother had an unfulfilled life and should have done so much more for herself in her lifetime.  Too much of a caregiver complex, in retrospect I see she was resentful of this position she placed herself.  I try to remember the positives when I'm looking in that mirror, both of my mother and myself and not dwell on the bad.  Also, I refuse to give up like my mother did and try everyday to improve my life and my relationships so I have very few regrets in the end.  I do not want to spent my final years on this earth being angry because of choices I made and I certainly don't want to punish my loves ones with my choices.  [/quote]

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