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[quote=Anonymous]Looking for advice and thoughts on a difficult MIL dynamic. DH's parents got divorced when he was a baby so he grew up with his mom and grandma who is long passed. MIL essentially never moved on from the divorce and has not made efforts to make friends or plan for her old age. Over time, DH has realized that he was subjected to parentification as a child.

She lays the guilt on HARD when we don't spend a holiday with her, so traditionally, she tags along with whatever we do. This means I either don't see my family of origin on holidays or she visits my parents with us (they live about 2 hours apart, about a six-hour drive from DC). I have a lot of empathy for her but she is hard to be around (a whole different post..) and this completely changes the tenor of the holidays. It makes me dread them, to be honest.

Is it fair for us to do holidays on our own or just with my family? How would you broach this? She has friends she could be with so she wouldn't be alone. [/quote]

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