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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "My DE kids are teens - AMA"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, thanks for doing this! I’m a former donor and I wonder about my recipient family(ies) all the time and hope they are happy and well. So, for one of my donations, the clinic inadvertently discharged me home with a form that had the intended father’s name and address on it. I still have it in a file cabinet somewhere. This was from about 15 years ago when anonymous donations were the norm and semi-anonymous or open donations were pretty much unheard of. Would it be horribly intrusive and unwelcome to send a letter just saying “Hello, I might be your child’s donor. I’m open to contact, but please disregard if you prefer not to hear from me”? I should probably have shredded it a long time ago and pretended I never saw it, but I’ve held onto it all these years. I believe the recipients were a same sex couple or possibly single father. Any thoughts?[/quote] I am a bystander here (no personal experience) but I wanted to mention that genetic genealogy makes it very likely that any kid who goes looking will be able to find some people related to you and start working the chain. This is kind of a tough issue because situations 15 years ago were a lot different. It could upset this likely parent person or they may be glad to receive your note. No way to know. It does look bad for the clinic, for sure. I think what's most important is that if a child wants to be in contact with you, and you are open to it, that you are findable. I suggest you wait until such kids are about 25, then put your test on Ancestry.com. Anyone looking hard will be likely to find you. Anyone who is not looking, probably doesn't have an emotional need.[/quote]
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