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[quote=Anonymous]My 21-year-old son is a college senior. Growing up, he was easygoing, extroverted, well-liked by everyone, accommodating, extremely intelligent, the fixer at home; basically a dream come true kid. He had excellent relationships with his parents and siblings.

He used to call or text me almost every day until December of 2022. When he came home, he spent time with me in the kitchen, helping or talking. He would sit for hours with me watching TV and insist on spending late nights together. He had many friends and was in a very sought-after club aligned with his hobby since elementary school, which is one of the reasons he applied to and joined his specific college.

In 2022, he made a friend (a girl) whom he was interested in, and some serious misunderstandings happened between them. During their period of misunderstanding, he explained that he should stay away from her because she really hurt his trust, etc. In December 2022, they patched up, and he proposed to her. From that time, my son's relationship started changing with friends and family. He slowly started losing friends, lying to family members, and avoiding coming home as often. He became frustrated with his club’s demands for time and started fighting with the members. In 2023, he stopped going to the club altogether. Currently, he has no hobbies, does not exercise, does not eat well, and does not take care of his appearance at all. He had gained a lot of weight and has strained relationships with his parents. He spends all his hours taking care of his girlfriend and her interests. He barely has two friends. He avoids coming home for any vacation, and when he comes home on long vacations, he avoids spending time with us. If I ask, he complains that he is tired and needs rest. He grows extremely angry if I talk about the changes. He does not call me or any other family members unless he needs help or money.

This year's spring break, he came home with his girlfriend, and he practically did not spend 10 minutes alone with me. His girlfriend seemed aloof and did not even anticipate hanging around the home. They spent most of their time in his room or went out.

I am very worried about my son. I worry that he has given up everything he enjoyed to be with this girl and that she is not encouraging him to pursue his dreams and hobbies. I feel she either has no clue about his life before her or influenced his change. He is an adult, and I understand he can choose what he wants to do. I am concerned that if this girl breaks up with him, he would not know how to pick up everything he had neglected.

What would you do? Am I unnecessarily anxious?[/quote]

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