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[quote=Anonymous]I have showed up to EVERYTHING for my children, from big things like concerts, to small things like to serve hot chocolate at Polar Express Day in kindergarten. My oldest, 13, showed me a Tik Tok of a little boy at at awards ceremony scanning the room for one of his “people”, looking forlorn, but then beaming when he eyes his mom. Suddenly I was flooded with emotion and was back in high school, at the ONE event my mother showed up to that made me feel so guilty, probably to this day.

My mother prioritized work, and never showed up to anything. My father came to one award ceremony in 2nd grade, and I remember him being so happy to be there. I also remember him picking me up from school the day I threw up in class. He was glad to be there, or at least made me feel that way. My mother made me feel like every normal childhood need that interrupted her work was an inconvenience. I felt it to my core. So you can imagine my surprise when, senior year, I look out at the crowd during a random band concert assembly for the school and see my mother! Oh no! She took time off work for *this*? Maybe I was projecting, but when I walked her to her car afterwards, I got the impression she was expecting something “more” and that she had wasted her lunch AND breaks (she made a point to tell me she was there because she was giving up both). I was so embarrassed and guilty, and to this day, it is palpable.

What is this? What is this feeling I’m experiencing? [/quote]

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