Reply to Should I try to become more of a sorority girl / PTA mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Another incel thread [/quote]

I agree.[/quote]

OP here. I am not an incel, like I said, I've been married for 15 years, and I'm a woman. I post these long things here because whom can I admit this to in real life?

I have talked to my mom about it and she regrets messing up my self confidence, but she herself is a victim of my grandma. Who is still alive and still critical, but we've accepted that she will never ever understand. Grandma had a super traumatic childhood herself (alcoholic father, DV), and her mom had an even worse childhood (dumped in an orphanage), so it's this generations-long trauma that haunts my outwardly great UMC life.

I have been to several therapists, and they've helped me with various issues, but not this overwhelming self-doubt. My DH is not very verbal or expressive, and I think over the years my issues have dragged his self-confidence down too. My job doesn't include much positive feedback by design (though I believe I am pretty competent at it, no one is telling me that.) Obviously, my kids aren't going to compliment me for being a good mom. Between work and kids, I haven't had time to develop any hobbies I am particularly good at. As I said in the OP, I'm not particularly beautiful and don't have poise/personality.

I have not been able to get a group of close girlfriends that I can share all of this with and get support. I've moved around a lot and, again, I don't have the sorority girl personality. I have people to hang out with more or less, but I'm not going to scare them away by dumping this sh*t on them.

So, I thought maybe I could build self-confidence by becoming more feminine inside and out. But honestly the responses calling me a troll make me kind of regret posting this. [/quote]

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