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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop talking to him about the relationship except to listen empathetically as much as you can stand to. No advice or perspective.

Focus on enforcing boundaries about everything else [b](skipping practice would have serious consequences in our house) [/b]and building him up about the other parts of his life. [/quote]

How so? I don't want to punish him for having feelings, even big ones. When this first started, I was sitting with him trying to convince him to go and he was literally crying into his pasta. What was I supposed to do? Then yesterday he was lying on his bed refusing to move. He's literally taller and heavier than me now. I can't just pick him up and push him out the door anymore.

As far as listening goes. I tell him "I know this is hard, I've been there. Everyone goes through this. I know you feel disappointed. [b]But it's going to be ok. This too will pass.[/b]" Is there anything else I should be saying? I think he only tells me the actual details though to get advice on what he should do.[/quote]
I wouldn't add the bolded. That's not listening. It's telling him that what he feels doesn't matter because it will pass. It's diminishing his feelings.[/quote]

Well I wanted him to know that he won't always feel as bad as he does right now but I take your point. It's just really hard to sit with someone in this position and not know what to say. I've only ever done it before with girlfriends who got cheated on and then it was way easier because we could disparage the guy and rightfully call him a cheating POS who will inevitably die alone etc. etc. lol[/quote]

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