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[quote=Anonymous]My son is 15 and was dating his first girlfriend for a couple of months. The problem is that he is very romantic and intense about her and I think she sees him more as an accessory to her life (and please note: I don't say this to malign her, I actually think that is the healthier attitude of the two to have! I remember being the same way about boys at her age).

Basically what I see is that he wants a girlfriend who will also be more like a best friend: call every night before sleep, see each other in school, go out on weekends, join each other's larger friend groups, etc. He actually [i]wants[/i] to be a devoted boyfriend to a girl his age, which kind of seems crazy based on my own prior experiences with boys that age, lol. But anyway. The girl he has been seeing has a lot of friends and friend drama, some complicated family dynamics, is very involved in a sport, and ranks him like 3rd or 4th in her life priorities. This results in a lot back-and-forth, hot-and-cold behavior that confuses and depresses him. Right now they are on a "break" because when they make plans to hang out in school, she often ditches him for her friends and their drama. When he brought this up to her, she said she doesn't know if she has the time to be the kind of girlfriend he wants. But she also doesn't just want to break up with him, which would at least release him from this limbo.

What can I do to help him? He won't talk to his male friends or his father about this. He's been really down, skipping practice, and even crying a little. Everything I say about there being other fish in the sea falls on deaf ears. As does the stuff I say about just backing off and accepting the level of involvement she is willing to offer.

How can I help him? What can I say? Anyone BTDT?[/quote]

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