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[quote=Anonymous]My 14 yo son has a lot going for him.  He’s a great athlete at his sport. He’s a good student.  He is handsome.  When you get to know him, he’s got a wonderful personality and is very funny, sweet, etc.

Socially, though, he’s really really closed off.  He has always been this way.  He keeps people at arms lengths. He’s got fewer than 5 friends.  He receives invitations occasionally to hang out and prefers to stay at home alone and play video games.  Sometimes I feel like he can be rude or even hurtful to others — an acquaintance who he really likes  him this weekend and asked to hang out and his response was “nah I’m busy.” Isn’t this rude?  And then there are certain groups like his teen cousins and a couple neighbors his age who he shut out years ago and refuses to really hang out with. When forced to be around them, he just sits on the couch on his phone and basically ignores them and when we tell him to hang out with them, he really just stays with the adults or goes off by himself.

Should I be worried here? I love him and I know what a wonderful person he is, but I’m concerned that he is coming off as a jerk and will make enemies.  You have to have a base level of kindness and politeness to get by in this world and I’m concerned he’s not meeting that base level.  I’m also worried he’s going to end up really lonely with this approach.

Or maybe I’m imposing my own values on him and should leave him alone to choose his own friends, and if he wants a smaller group that he rarely sees in person then leave him to do that ?  He’s getting older so fast and I know
My influence is waning.  Not sure what to do.[/quote]

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