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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My youngest sibling is 10 years younger than me and 7 from our middle sibling. Middle sibling and I are successful because we have worked hard and wanted a better life than what we grew up with. Our youngest sibling is what you would call failure to launch. She is very beautiful and always assumed she would get by on her looks, but at 35 they haven’t gotten her anywhere because she is a very difficult and entitled seeming person. She is single, has never had a job and lives with our parents. They have never pushed her to do anything, which I don’t understand given that college and careers were non-negotiable for my younger brother and me. But my parents give her the little money they do have to buy nice clothes, go out with friends, and live a life well beyond her means.

My dad is in his early 80s and not in good health. It’s not clear how much longer he will be around, and he has started trying to have conversations about who will care for my mom and younger sister when he dies. Of course my brother and I will take care of our mom, but we have mixed feelings about what to do about our younger sister. We think the discussion should be around finding her a job and setting her up to be able to support herself, but my dad disagrees and thinks she should move in with one of us and be allowed to just live her life as she pleases while we support her. She feels the jobs she would be qualified for are way beneath her and has zero interest in ever having a job. My brother and I are really bitter about the prospect of supporting a 35 year old for the rest of her life simply because she doesn’t want to work and feel like this is going to be a disaster when my dad passes because my mom strongly agrees with my dad.

How do we navigate this now so it doesn’t all blow up at some point. We don’t want our sister to be homeless on the street, but find it unacceptable to have to just suck it up and support her for the long term.[/quote]

Your mother had a very long span of being a mom and basically didn't want to give it up. My youngest sibling by 9 years also had this problem where the parents basically crippled any effort to launch - they wanted her to stay their baby.
I've also seen it in other families. It's a terrible disservice to the youngest child.
She is young enough to still pick up her life though. I have known people who went to law school in their late 30s. While these people were never going to make partner at biglaw, they still came out of it with decent professional prospects. If your parents really want to provide for her, they could set aside money for a professional program for her. After that, it's up to her.
She is not your problem. She is THEIR problem.[/quote]

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