Reply to Any of you forbid fraternities for DS? Dumb idea?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the daughter of two Ivy Greeks and married a guy from a tame frat that had strict anti-hazing policies and was not one of the cool frats. I did not join a sorority myself because I prefer 1:1 friendships and at my college the sorority girls tended to be average students.

My point of view is that if your kid is capable of controlling alcohol use, has a strong sense of ethics, and is willing to walk away from a bad frat/hazing, and is willing to step in to prevent or mitigate bad situations, then it is o.k.  I would let my kids join frats after we talked through some of the incidents as examples.  In fact, I've already talked to my kids about alcohol abuse and accidents and poor judgment.

My husband's fraternity lived up to the no hazing guidelines.  The pledges mainly did extra chores and tasks like making a new standard to carry at the football game.  The parties they had felt safe for women.  I would say that this was a nerd frat with no official house at the time. Also a historically Jewish frat.

Alcohol abuse and sexual assault are big campus problems everywhere and Greek houses can be a nexus of them.  However, I think the decisions need to be left up to the students and parents need to counsel their kids to avoid the pitfalls and reap the benefits.  There are benefits to having a pre-defined group of friends.  And yes, the organized parties are helpful to one's social life.  My best friend met her husband at a party I took her to even before my husband joined.  My parents met because of Greek activities. The traditions wouldn't have lasted so long if they were ineffective.[/quote]

This 1000%. Both of my kids are Greek at a college whose Greek system gets slammed here a lot. Neither are in “ cool houses” and they have never experienced teasing and they feel strongly that they would never haze anyone especially with alcohol. There are many many fraternities that are wonderful places to be and where your son could meet some lifelong friends so if you forbid it, you are destroying his free will but if you raise someone who has the PP said has a strong sense of ethics and can handle alcohol and knows walk away then he will be fine.

My daughter is in Europe right now with three other sorority sisters, having the time of her life and meeting other sorority sisters while there. My son is also in Europe with his best friend, who is also in his fraternity. I would never have wanted to forbid them to meet these people as they are absolutely fantastic kids.[/quote]

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