Reply to Trying to teach my son to be respectful is possibly ruining my relationship with him

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is 8 and although he’s not diagnosed ASD, he has very poor social skills and has generally always had a rude and sour disposition. (It’s likely something genetic because my MIL and niece are both very unpleasant people). My son isn’t nearly as bad as them, but he’s very rude and disrespectful.

We’ve been trying for years to improve his manners and general behavior towards his brothers. As he gets older, it’s more difficult to excuse his behavior, however. Brothers are 7 and 3. 
He’s mostly constantly snapping to the 3 year old: “stop that. Move. Get your own water. I want to. Get off my pillow. Out of my way.”
I do worry my constant “try again” “speak kindly” is ruining MY relationship with him.

Comparatively, our 7 year has a heart of gold and is naturally pleasant. Even our 3 year old has more manners and kindness.

Our son is fine at school and with others although I wouldn’t call him a master of social decorum.

We are in all the therapies and parenting coaching classes, but I could use some real life anecdotes please. [/quote]

What do you let your oldest do that the others can’t?  Things like parenting a sibling can be a clue the at he needs more responsibility - try teaching him to do laundry or something.  Let him feel capable and competent.  [/quote]

Hahah he does his own laundry and yells at me the whole time about it. He won’t do anything unless he wants to do it, and that’s very little. ;)[/quote]

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