Reply to Marriage not great-taking 5 day trip with DH to work on it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you get fat?  Is he the bread winner?[/quote]

Op here. I weigh the same as when we married.

I make a bit more than he does.[/quote]

I doubt there will be any meaningful connection or conversating on this trip sans kids. If he avoids talking about life he won’t do so then. He’ll coast along with books, sight seeing, meals with superficially talks about nothing, on the trip.

You’d need a third party professional to get y’all to open up and see wtf his issue(s) are.  Any mental disorders in his family tree? Is he familiar with how divorce and coparenting work?  Or is he clueless about everything and potential lack of connection? [/quote]

Op here. We’ve worked with third party professionals before (marriage therapists). If anything it made things worse. It didn’t help us at all.

DH doesn’t think about divorce and doesn’t believe me when I tell him I think that’s what is going to happen.

Part of why I stay is I don’t believe he would be competent to care for our kids alone. If I stay at least I’m able to keep our home clean and make sure they get meals and to school.

DH is just totally checked out of our life and has been for years. If we divorce I don’t believe he’d actually keep the kids half the time. He’d pretend he wanted to but wouldn’t follow through.

Most of his life he just avoids/pretends/says what he thinks people want to hear, etc.[/quote]

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