Reply to According to experts: “If you have a friend who uses any of these 8 toxic phrases, it may be time to ‘move on

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "According to experts: “If you have a friend who uses any of these 8 toxic phrases, it may be time to ‘move on"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only one I don't totally agree is a toxic phrase is the phrase "I'm sorry you feel that way "  in some cases. Yes, it is toxic, when it is being used as an apology. However, I don't feel it's toxic if somebody is sharing their feelings about something that bothers them and you are trying to empathize and say wow I see that bothers you. I'm really sorry that you feel that way. That's how I would use it. As empathy. but I know not to use it because I've learned that that is a toxic phrase. But I see it is contextual.  [/quote]

I see where you are coming from. I think the reason it's on the list is that it comes off as very dismissive of someone's feelings. Like not "I can see why you feel that way" but "it is disappointing to me that you feel that way." But I see what you are saying, that someone could mean it in an empathetic way.

I had a friend who often said this when she thought my feelings were out of left field. So it was actually an expression of just not understanding. I had depression during our friendship and sometimes I'd try to explain what that was like to her, how depression isn't necessarily feeling sad but more just feeling empty. And she'd respond with "I'm sorry you feel that way." I know that was her attempting to be supportive but just not knowing what to say or really even understanding how I felt. But knowing that, it made me feel worse even though I knew she wasn't trying to make me feel bad. It just made me feel further from connection or feeling understood, which made the depression feel worse. It wasn't her fault and I don't think she was being toxic, but it did illustrate to me that she wasn't the best person for me to try and lean on in that situation.

Sometimes people are just limited in certain ways and can't be there for you in the way you need someone to be there for you. It sucks, but it's just life.[/quote]

Compared to your forst two examples, which are empathetic, "I'm sorry you feel that way" always means, "I really don't care; you are wrong."[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics