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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, you need to let go with respect to your dad. He has a mental health issue that you are not going to solve.

You need to figure things out for your brother. Are you willing to take your brother into your home? Because you need to call APS and indicate that your brother is essentially being abused by your dad. But you need to be very aware of what the actual options are for your brother. Is your brother getting Medicaid? Does your dad have guardianship? I have a daughter with profound disabilities, but you need to post more info if you want help specific to your brother.[/quote]

Did she say the brother was being abused? OP, is your dad still loving to the brother with disabilities? As a parent of a young person with disabilities, I can tell you there is so much risk of a stranger being abusive, that if the dad is loving and makes sure he is fed, loved and healthy, even in a smelly, messy, gross house, I would not call it abuse. I would start exploring safe options for the brother though.

I'm sorry OP this is so difficult. I gave up with my mother and have a sibling who undermines everything. Luckily I threw a fit to get my mother to allow and geriatric social worker in the keep tabs and arrange care as needed. Mom fired people though. I have needed to make peace with the fact she could die a preventable death, but it is all very sad and I think some of her neighbors are looking  into moving away (after naively offering "call us anytime.") The doctor knows to assess reflexes, etc for driving safety and the first sign things are not OK I will report her to the DMV and call the police to see what they can do.

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