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[quote=Anonymous]My mother has borderline personality disorder (mostly emotional vacuum/vampire). I was parentified very young after my dad left. They are both ailing now. My dad chose to be with someone who hated the fact that he had kids so we are distant. I’m fully responsible for my mom now and at first I had big feelings about being parentified again(leaving the country for a long time, living across the country and having my own family out a lot of boundaries I place but now they are eroding).
Lately however I’ve 
 Both let go if the resentment and established boundaries (don’t listen to her rent; don’t fall for guilt trips; etc). 
I am able to see my mother as damaged by her mother and much of her emotional instability was that she was profoundly alone, a father who abandoned her and no siblings and a husband who left (in part because she was a black hole of need).’She had no relationship with her mother once she was out of the house but I am rewriting the story and what I do now for her is out of compassion and so that I know I have done right by her and by me.’ It’s hard sometimes but I am modeling compassion and healthy boundaries for my kids. I also had to really mourn the fact I didn’t have a nurturing mother. She just couldn’t . Wanted to but couldn’t.

It’s normal to have mixed feelings and it’s ok to put up boundaries. [/quote]

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