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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?"
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[quote=Anonymous]You have to stop helping him. Just stop. Also stop asking him to do things like vacuum or clean. Things won’t get done the way you want and they often won’t get done. It will still suck, but it will be a better dynamic than you have now. Honestly, better. It’s much better if you don’t try to control other adults. It’s possible that he’ll watch you scrubbing the toilet while he sits on the couch and he’ll suddenly go pick up the vacuum. It’s also possible, and perhaps more likely, that he’s still sitting on the couch with his thumb up his rear when you walk out the door for the last time. But that’s still better than trying to be his mommy. You have to stare into the abyss here and get cool with the risk. You have to let him be who he is and accept that it might not be good enough. You’ll get to a more honest place and then you can decide what to do. [/quote]
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