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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry that happened, OP. You’re not alone, if that helps.

I’ve been reconnecting with people I had lost touch with. A friend from college. A friend from grad school. A past coworker suggested we meet up. A parent from the elementary years.

As people’s kids get older, they have more time so this may be happening partly due to my stage of life.

That said, the suggestion above to reach out to people is a good one. They will appreciate the honesty, and I used a similar approach.

You also might make sure you are not giving off sad vibes. When I have been grieving a death or friendship, I suspect my sad vibes turned people away. I’ve gone to therapy, processed grief, unwound my anxiety, and did a Positive Intelligence program to deal with hypervigilance. All of that helped me be more peaceful and that seems to be attracting people my way.

[/quote]

I don't think sad vibes so much, because I generally smile and am pleasant and I don't come off sad, but probably "don't want to connect on a deeper level" vibes, because that's how I feel. I am chattier and friendlier in situations like the checkout line or a quick one-time interaction than I am in a social situation at a party or with school parents, because I don't have to worry about the after part or what's next. I have a really hard time getting emotionally invested and it makes me anxious, so my walls are up from that, and from finding it all such an effort. It's clearly a me problem. I can totally see how hypervigilance is an issue with me.[/quote]

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