Reply to endless parade of tragedy

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "endless parade of tragedy "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP doesn't quite get it. The suffering comes mainly from:

1. Minor children left without a parent. I've known several in our community whose parent died from cancer. It triggers lifelong trauma. This is what midlife cancer means.

2. The mental and physical burden of caregiving when everyone around you is seriously ill. It's not that everyone has to die someday. It's that when the caregiver is you, it's very, very difficult to manage.

[/quote]

Actually, I DO quite get it. I spent 8 years as a professional caregiver, and a few more caregiving for dying relatives. I lost two aunts in their 40s and 50s from cancer, one of my dearest friends at 60, and a number of friends from cancer, suicide, accidentally flying into the side of a mountain, etc. They all orphaned their kids and grandkids.

Death is part of life. Caring for dying family and friends is part of life. Helping orphans pick up the pieces is part of life.

Expecting a charmed life where everyone you love lives into their 90s in great health and then dies peacefully in their sleep is a sure fire recipe for emotional misery, because just about nobody gets that life. [/quote]

Professional caregiving doesn't count, PP. You're paid to do a job, and you get to go home after your shift and not think about it. Like social workers, EMTs, doctors and nurses, who can all on the front lines of pain and suffering.

Unless you've personally picked up the pieces for a child who has lost a parent, or you personally gave much of your healthy and able years caring for a loved one (elderly or not, could be a disabled child or spouse)... you don't get it.

Yes, old people tend to die. I don't think OP is disputing that. [/quote]

You are a callous person if you think hospice caregivers shut off their feelings and don’t become invested in their patients and the families of those patients. I’m still very close with many of the families whose loved ones I helped to transition. Caregivers who do it for wages suffer vicarious trauma and grief just like family members.

And AGAIN, I have lost many very dear loved ones at early ages to cancer and other illnesses and tragic events. I HAVE lived this, over and over and over again since I was 12 years old.

Death is part of life. Grief is part of life. Cry and wail about it being tragedy all day long if you like, it is just evidence of your mental instability. Learning to let go is the primary lesson of life and clearly you ain’t figured that out yet. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics