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[quote=Anonymous]
Currently planning my Indian-American DD's wedding. Average cost of Indian wedding in DMV is around 200K, so this is on par with saving for college.  Indian parents save for college and wedding from the time a kid is born, to the best of their abilities - so we knew this was coming. And we have lived a fiscally responsible life till now, to prepare for this cost.  We are paying for the entire wedding.

Not only there is a deeply religious-ritualistic aspect of a Hindu wedding, but also there is a social aspect that dictates our guest list and how we host them.  You may ask, is any of this necessary? No, we could easily have a small wedding in a temple and called it a day. So, we can say that the reason we are spending on a wedding is purely emotional and no one is holding a gun to our head.

Do we regret the expense? No. But, it is a HUGE expense and it is very hard earned money, so there is that. Plus, we are middle class and yes, the cost is keeping me awake at night.

On our part, we have tried to be economical and smart about paring down certain costs, but, the bottom line is that we will not compromise on how we host our guests.  The experience of family and friends trumps over what the bride and groom may want. We are not passing over the cost of wedding to our guests, and we are adhering to an Indian societal norm of how our guests should be treated.

In our culture, it is not the day of the bride and the groom. They are getting married (and not paying a dime) and that is their big prize.  This is the day of the bride and groom's parents who have successfully seen their children launched into adulthood and in a marriage.  Our responsibility traditionally ends here. This is the bare minimum that the Indian parents do for their children - get them educated and get them married. From now on, the bride and groom are one unit that are facing the responsibilities of their household together.

Nothing to regret.  If I had not spent the money on the wedding, I would not have handed my kids this money to spend as they want or to set them up.  To be successful in their own life is the responsibility of my married children. We have raised them, educated them. supported them in the early years of their career, and now married them.  This is more leg-up than most people get in their life.

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