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[quote=Anonymous]My ex husband filed for divorce after cheating on me.

He believed his friend from his high school years loved him for 25 years and ended up having an affair with her.

As part of his affair rationalization, he told me we didn’t love each other for 10 years.

That was news to me, because I always believed we loved each other, but were going through the strains of marriage with young kids, demanding jobs, stretched finances,  etc.

After announcing separation in VA, which started the one-year clock, I kicked him out for sexting in our house during separation in place. Couple of months later, he asked to stay married, but only for the kids. His proposition was that eventually our marriage would work out. That’s after he told his AP that she was his soulmate and after he sexted with her and promised he’d leave me for her.

When we went to marriage counseling, he never said his goal was to save the marriage. His goal was to not hurt me. My goal was to save the marriage.

We also met with a pastor, and he told the pastor that he no longer loves me as a wife.

He told my dad there was nothing left to save and our marriage was over.

So, he filed for divorce and we divorced a year ago.

But guess what. He’s full of regret. He texts to say that he regrets what he did, blah blah blah. Would do anything to have his family back, blah blah blah. That’s after cheating, hurting me, refusing to work on our marriage and save our family.

I told him I had no regrets at all because guess what, I tried to work on saving our marriage but you can’t really save it when you refuse to stop talking to your AP and text her saying she’s your soulmate and you want wait to wake up with her one day.

So I have no regrets and I told him that. And now he’s angry. After telling him I don’t regret divorcing a man that no longer loved me, he was like, oh, we were in a loveless marriage anyway. There were millions of couples like us. No , jerk. Not every marriage that struggles involves a man having EA and PA … and then BLAMES me for the affair because “oh we didn’t love each other for 10 years.” He’s in this funny logic pretzel. He says the affair is his fault but “oh we didn’t love each other for 10 years. “ prior to the affair he didn’t communicate or say ANYTHING about wanting to work on our marriage  or feeling neglected. He worked long hours and so did I.

I truly hate how men think and make decisions. Based on my ex’s stupid texts, I’m assuming things didn’t work out with his AP. Of course! I told him their EA and PA was in a bubble, untested by life and children and finances. He was told that by pastors and friends. But he was defiant and indignant and sure he could relive 1997 and counting crows and Green Day with his AP.

So, long story to say that my ex divorced me, but regrets it because his entire affair was rooted in stupidity, selfishness and foolishness. [/quote]

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