Reply to Please tell me I'm being ridiculous....MIL issue

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[quote=Anonymous]Ok, please tell me I am being ridiculous here.  DH and I are newlyweds and his mom and I get along very well.  However, this situation is really, really bothering me and I just need someone to tell me to suck it up.  So back story, his mom's side of the family is quite large, and for years they did not get along.  Out of the 7 sisters that she has, only 1 was invited to our wedding and one of his 15 cousins (the son of the one sister).  I had never met the rest of his family until about 5 months ago when his grandfather passed away.  Since then, we have been invited to his cousin's wedding.  While we like the cousin, his mom is the type who thinks everything is a slight against her and holds grudges (she is one of the main reasons MIL has not spoken with most of her sisters in years).  DH and I are unable to attend the wedding because his best friend is getting married the same weekend, and DH is the best man.  His aunt is BS about it and has been badmouthing us.

So here is where MIL is pissing me off.  I was invited to the bridal shower (it is his cousin's fiancee).  I do not know anyone attending as I've only briefly met the whole gang at the wake and funeral.  I agreed to go to try to keep on good terms with his aunt since we are unable to attend the wedding.   MIL and  SIL were both supposed to attend the shower as well, so I would at least know two people and wouldn't be totally uncomfortable.   Well, SIL just found out she'll be on call (surgeon) and may not be able to attend.  No big deal, I understand as I'm an RN.  However, MIL has decided she wants to go golfing with friends that day.  I could understand if the friends were visiting or something, but no, they live in the same town but got a T time at a course and their other friends backed out.  MIL told me this today.  The shower is next weekend.  DH says I should just send my regrets now, but honestly I feel like it is totally rude and disrespectful to only give one weeks notice.  DH says its no big deal since I already bought a gift and could just send it in my absence.  He also doesn't care if his aunt holds this against us/his mom because he's used to it.  I don't see the point in giving her more ammo, and I also don't like people to dislike me over something that wasn't my fault.

So what say you all?  Do I have reason to be pissed off at MIL?  Should I just send my regrets and a gift even though it is a week away?  [/quote]

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