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[quote=Anonymous]As someone who made all the wrong choices and moved my mom just a little too late to independent living (when she needed assisted) and to assisted living (when she needed memory care), please start looking for an appropriate place for her now.  In my moms case she never really settled in or fit in to any of the places she moved until memory care.  She was always incredibly anxious around the other seniors because she could tell she was struggling and was trying to hide her limitations.

In my limited experience the elderly seem to get really clingy and scared when they realize they’re slipping and they also seem to put their own needs first and not recognize the burden they’re putting on their loved ones.  And it is a burden.

Don’t look at assisted living as a negative.  Reframe it as a positive.  She’ll be around people her own age, she’ll be able to do activities and have meals and maybe even make some friends and have a little fun.  It doesn’t sound like she’s quite ready for memory care but assisted living can help with mobility issues and administer medications.  And some places have bridge programs where they identify those with cognitive decline and give them more attention and assistance.

The other alternative would be to hire a helper every night or a few times a week for four hours who just comes no matter what you are doing.  That way when you do want to go out she doesn’t have a sitter, just the person who is always there on that day.  But I think a facility would be better for both of you.[/quote]

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