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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother has lived with us for two years. She is pretty good but cannot live alone (can’t take her meds properly, can’t drive, can’t handle finances anymore, has falling a few times but not gotten hurt). Her memory is impaired in terms of things like asking the same question a bunch of times but average person probably wouldn’t notice an issue.

Here is the issue: I see how things are incrementally getting worse. Her balance, memory, etc. are much worse than they were a year ago. Maybe even 6 months. But because her mind is still there except for a bit of memory loss, I just don’t have the heart to put her in assisted living now. But the toll it is taking on me is great. I have a little help each day but I am increasingly becoming resentful. We are afraid to leave her to go out to dinner and she gets very upset if we have what she calls a “sitter” and then she pouts for days after. She is generally fine and agreeable but she definitely does not like being told she is incapable of staying alone.

Honestly I just don’t want to do this anymore and want my life back, but there is not enough of a reason to send her away and have her costs shoot up. Other than I am being selfish.

I am just venting. I don’t really have any questions. [/quote]

Your denial and ignorance will lead you to disaster, OP. No, your mother is not fine. She has dementia: this is evident by her asking the same question repeatedly, and her emotional dysregulation and anxiety when she's left with a stranger, or things don't go her way. You need get her a formal diagnosis to see which type it is and what meds she can take. You need to consult experts in eldercare to figure out what options of care she has given she will continue to decline, and how much it's likely to cost her (and possibly you). If she has a very low income, she can go into a government home. You won't have to pay anything, except extras to make her life easier (which can add up, of course).

Start now.[/quote]

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