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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a 55-year old woman. Married, no kids.

My parents died young, both from illnesses.

I was 31 when my mother died, and 40 when my father passed away.

I don't have siblings.

I feel that I'm still struggling with my parents' deaths in certain areas of my life. I feel jealousy whenever I see women (or men) my age on an outing with their parents, for instance. 
Or a mother and daughter having a chat in a coffee shop over coffee and a slice of cake. Simple things.

Or MIL and SIL going out for brunch.

Or a friend showing me pictures of her elderly mother on her cell phone.

Things like these can affect my mood for a couple of hours. I get sad and listless and I withdraw.

I am very happily married but I still feel lonely a lot of the time.

I also never had an opportunity to say a proper 'goodbye' to my parents, even though I was with my mom when she died. 
Dad died suddenly and unexpectedly in hospital in the early hours. I was staying at his house 10 minutes away.

How can I make myself more resilient?  How do I stop the examples given from triggering me?[/quote]

You're not somehow "wrong" for feeling the way you do, so don't force yourself to feel otherwise. Sometime when you're a relaxed and content state, try asking yourself "Why do you feel that way?" Sometimes changing the word from "I" to "you" can put some distance so that you can actually hear what the issue is. It might just be that you never really let yourself process the emotions of loss.

The point is don't judge yourself for having emotions about this. Emotions are just visitors, here to tell you something. Many times, once they feel fully heard, they go away.[/quote]

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