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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you think the gray rock also helps them with their lives? It's truly heartbreaking to see her be so mean over tiny things in life. I'm feeling like she might be very stressed.

You hear a lot about narcissism but not how to help someone with it.[/quote]As they say on the airplane, put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. I think the gray rock poster has great advice. It's easier for me to say than for me to do this sometimes but a) accept that this is the way she is and b) do not engage with her troublesome behavior by arguing with her or defending yourself.  Take control and accept that she's not the mom you deserve.

That was the hardest part for me with my mom. I'd share stuff with her as I always did and then she'd come back later when she felt anxious and threatened by something and throw it in my face.  I, of course, would try to defend myself, which didn't help.  It was hard to learn not to share stuff with her at those moments when everything seemed all right. But I eventually did and our relationship got better.  Good luck, OP!  This sounds hard![/quote]

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