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[quote=Anonymous]Had an ex husband like this. Wanted to do all the fun stuff and spend thousands on his hobbies. Didn't lift a finger around the house or spend a single minute worrying about paying bills or anything else an adult has to do.  Obviously, I divorced him. He was shocked when I did so because he didn't think I was serious after years of futile discussions and then direct warnings.

Have you discussed this with any professionals? Not just a counselor but also an attorney? If your father knows, you've obviously talked to your family but I would urge caution to a certain extent there. Of course they will take your side, support you and will help, but make 100% sure that whatever you do is of your own volition and is the decision that is best for your children and you.

How old are your kids? Absent outright abuse, is there is any way you can hang in there until they are all of age? It might be the easiest solution. You can keep family and home intact. Do it on the condition that your DH will have all his pay deposited into an account he doesn't have access over, and he will get an "allowance" to play with. Also tell him that he will have certain days/timeframes to be child care-giver and make him stick to it.

If he doesn't agree to the new normal, tell him the only option you have is a legal separation - then do it. If that doesn't wake him up, then divorce.

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