Reply to Alternative to a divorce?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Alternative to a divorce?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I’ve been reading discussions on this board and noticed that many mention “meh marriage” or “dead marriage” but are not willing to divorce due to logistics (kids, finances etc)

Sadly, I am finding myself in a similar place lately. Or, maybe, it’s just a crisis in our marriage? But it’s becoming quite dreadful. DH is always unhappy and grumpy. And I find myself in a worst mood when around him. If he goes to a business trip, I really enjoy my time alone with kids. I notice that I am just more happy and positive and myself when he is not around. I fantasize about us having a second property and living in different places, maybe just spending weekends together. But it’s impossible because financially we are not well off. And we have kids.

So I have been thinking about it for a while now, and decided that divorce is not an option, at least for now. It is just not worth it because I won’t be gaining anything (I DON’T want to re-marry) and we will destroy our finances and really hurt the kids. Also, we both will be hurt too, since we don’t have much of the family except for each other and we’ve been together for many years. And I do care for him and I am sure he care about me too. We are just not emotionally close and don’t bring the best in each other.

How do I “separate” (without actually getting separated) and start living my own life? I mainly would like to find a way not to get affected by his bad mood (which has recently been almost constant)  How do I find ways to enjoy life more? Have an emotional affair? (I don’t think I can stomach a physical one, it just won’t feel right) Get in better shape? I am 10 pounds overweight. I desperately want to have my own bedroom but DH gets upset when I mention the idea and frankly, that could only be our basement, at least until kids are out. I was sick with Covid and quarantined myself for 10 days in the bedroom and it was absolutely tranquil.

We both work from home and I am sure it’s making things worse. But I am not able to change jobs at the moment and my work is all remote for everyone in our company. There is not a physical office. And DH will never agree to go to the office because he hates it.

I started therapy and it helps me with acceptance of the fact that I don’t (and probably never will) have a happy marriage. It’s a loss and I am coming to terms with it. I don’t know if I can improve our marriage, but at this point the goal is to make it suck less, at least for me.

Any of you in a similar situation? How are you doing it?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics