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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you may want to consider waiting to divorce until the kids are older and more self sufficient. If they are with him 50% of the time and he forgets meds, at those ages, they can't really be parentified yet.

Your father and husband sound similar. In the meantime, I'd perhaps do some therapy around why you chose DH and codependency (try coda.org) so future picks may be better.

I'd continue to prioritize the kids' well being, safety and things like getting meds until a bit older. Your DH will not change as a caregiver and may worsen in midlife.

To cope in the meantime, lower expectations re: trips, activities, etc., try to have more routines so you do not have so much pressure on yourself. One thing to consider - is it possible both you and DH have untreated ADD? Do some reading at the Additude website and see if things seem familiar. Any of the kids have a diagnosis?[/quote]

Op here. When do you think is the best age for divorcing?

2/3 kids have diagnoses.

I have ADHD but it’s well managed with medication, therapy, exercise, and diet.[/quote]

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