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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some people look for drama. Can you imagine a guy bringing this up?[/quote]

My DH is that guy. He doesn't articulate it like that. But basically family is him, his parents and siblings. It's a specific mindset, I understand what OP means.

OP, overtime this insular system is not accepting of strangers, so basically the sister will be made to see how her boy toy doesn't measure up to their fine core family and she will eventually agree. People might stay together with their spouses but still not have both feet in, even after houses, children, etc. Parents' and siblings' judgement will always be more important. [/quote]

+1  My DH's family (South American immigrants) is the same way, although my DH is not.  However, my DH didn't see it for a very long time (like 15 years). It's caused a number of issues in our relationship.  Counseling helped our core relationship but for a very long time I just refused to go to his family events because I had no interest in being treated like a second class citizen.

Once his parents' generation started dying off, things got immensely better. Yet, anytime an out of country/town relative visits, vestiges reappear.  Just last month, a male relative was over for dinner.  He knows a lot of the family history and was telling DH and the kids (young adults) about it. He actually used the phrase, 'not of the blood', several times!  Meaning, that person really wasn't a 'Larlason' because 'they weren't of the blood'.  THAT, probably more than anything, really brought home to DH the insularity of his family. [/quote]

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