Reply to VENT - parents w/o SN kids

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Reply to "VENT - parents w/o SN kids"

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[quote=Anonymous]
I have a somewhat different perspective on this, but I agree with your general point that it's tough to stay friends with people who critique your values.

I have an SN kid and neurotypical one. We found that raising our SN kid with HIGH expectations, along with tons of home support and school accommodations (IEP, tutors, home coaching, meds, THE WORKS), was the optimal mix to get him to achieve in school and develop self-esteem. We really did our utmost, because we knew he was capable of academic success and behavior changes, and we worked very hard with him, and he worked hardest of all. We were, in effect, Tiger parents of an SN kid. That's how he got into college, and that's how he was exceedingly well prepared to do well in college.

We take a gentler approach with our neurotypical kid, who drives herself way too hard and whose anxiety we need to manage. She's Tiger Parenting herself, and we're telling her to relax!

Stereotypes are only useful up to a point ;-) The issue here isn't that your friend is a Tiger Parent (although she sure is going about it the wrong way!), but that she's judging YOU. And that's just plain rude.

A word to the wise, though - YOU know your child better than anyone. Don't let any "expert" dictate your parenting choices. They may have evaluated your kid for 8 hours, or seen him for an hour a week in therapy, but they don't know him as you do. So if you think your kid is capable of more, don't hesitate to push. If we had listened to doctors and psychologists, my college freshman wouldn't even have been mainstreamed K-12, let alone graduated high school...

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