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[quote=Anonymous]This morning my daughter, who is usually very well behaved, had a medical appointment she was stressed about and was acting up and refusing to get dressed. I was taking her to the appointment once our other child was at school but time was ticking and she was picking fights with her sibling and so I sent her up to her room to get dressed.

I was getting stressed out because I had been running around all morning and was not ready to leave. I had the following exchange with my husband:

DH: she can come come sit with me while you shower.

Me: well she’s not dressed yet - she’s been giving me attitude and I really need to shower now (last part as I’m running up to the shower)

I come out and go into DH office and DD is now where to be seen. I ask where she is and he says he has no idea. I ask if she’s dressed and he has no idea. I was visibly upset because we needed to leave and he yelled after me “you never communicate! How am I supposed to know if I need to do something?????”

I just left and scrambled around- we made it to the appointment because DD felt bad about giving me attitude and got herself ready. But I’m so frustrated and I know I need to have a follow up conversation with DH. I admit I did not specifically say “please make sure DD is dressed by the time I’m out.” I am happy to acknowledge that. But I just don’t accept that he is only expected to do something if I specifically ask him like a child. We have had versions of this conversation before that involve him telling me that he’s not a mind reader and he needs me to explicitly tell him if I want something done. But I just don’t understand how he took from that conversation he should just check out for the rest of the morning. If it was some unusual thing like DD needs something for school I can understand needing to say that explicitly (I have accepted he will not read the emails from the school, so I need to be on all of that). But the routine things like a child needing to be dressed- its like if I’m there the default is I will do everything instead of it being a shared responsibility. Usually he is the one who gets the kids ready for school although I ended up helping a lot on days I work at home.

I am honestly not sure what to do. I feel like the more I try to explicit the less he does because I can’t be actively instructing him all the time. If you have had the to have a similar conversation please give me your advice. [/quote]

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