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Eldercare
Reply to "Boomer parents/realities of aging in place"
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[quote=Anonymous] My parents were/are like this, but wouldn't even move to an over 55 community when younger. Their family members who actually had to manage eldercare for their parents and deal with emergencies, poor behavior, checking on things all were realistic about aging. My parents had magical thinking because they both were the call and occasionally visit type who got treated well by their parents and when the parent got more needy even with them, they stopped visiting and just expected the siblings to deal. In therapy, I learned to make my boundaries clear (didn't go over well, but entitled people hate boundaries) and to accept there could be an easily preventable death or serious injury. I disagree with the poster who says it's about having money to age in place because now that one of my parents has passed the other is doing this. We hired someone to manage the care and it's a money drain, she feeds into the fears, promises everything and then there is fallout with no-shows, stealing, neighbor complaints. Also, while if she claims poor behavior the person replaces, if anything really bad happened with a caregiver and she screamed at the top of her lungs, there is nobody close enough to hear that scream. (I know that sounds extreme, but at least in residential there are other humans somewhere around). All that said, her choice and whatever happens I will be more at peace knowing she chose this while of sound mind. [/quote]
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