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[quote=Anonymous]My in-laws are 80. FIL has liver cancer & diabetes. MIL has a health condition that requires monthly monitoring and procedures. Both struggle physically.

They have downsized but refused to move to us, and moved to a 55 community in NC.

FIL is having severe dementia symptoms, reactions to his liver shutting down, being rushed to ER, and needing to be admitted. Multiple times. We’re working, have young kids, trying to help from afar, jumping in the car to help MIL navigate the hospital situation (she’s not great at advocating/supporting). It’s been so heart wrenching but also unsustainable!

DH is a physician, we live in central VA near good hospitals. We don’t want to move to them because he’s just hitting his stride in his earning years w/a new partnership he’s worked hard for. We have an established, blooming high schooler. We have a younger child with SN that has bounced from school to school and is finally settled.

I am just beyond frustrated that they won’t move to us so we can help support! Especially during medical emergencies which are happening more and more. What is the realistic scenario here? FIL will prob die in the hospital due to something being missed (came close last time). MIL will refuse to come to us, until we force her when she’s old and senile.

WHY do boomers choose this? They could have moved here 5-10 years ago, made friends, had a life, and grown closer to us and our kids. Instead they decided to start over in a new neighborhood down there and now the shit is hitting the fan. But we’re getting it in the face.

Their response? “You should move to
us. We took care of our parents” (which involved sticking them in a home)

So selfish. [/quote]

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