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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are teaching by example what they should look for in a spouse, and what they should be in a spouse. I would consider that. Is this the marriage you want them to have for themselves?[/quote]

Like she will marry some amazing DH in her late 30s with TWO toddlers. The “model marriage” cruise ship sailed 5 years ago. [/quote]

This is OP. I agree with this.

I would love to have modeled a good marriage, but I chose poorly. I had baggage to work out from my childhood, and I got married before I worked it out. I married someone the current me would not have married.

And yes I had kids knowing there were problems. Being a mom is the highlight of my life and my DH’s life as well. The one thing we have in common is how much we love and are devoted to our kids.

Would it be better if they didn’t exist and we never had them? I’m not interested in debating that honestly. I know I am giving them A LOT better than I had in terms of love and care.

I would be open to divorce, but I agree repartnering with someone with whom I could model a great relationship is unlikely at 39 with 2 toddlers.

Also, DH and I can give our kids a more peaceful existence by splitting responsibilities in one home. If we split, logistics would get a lot more difficult and uncomfortable for them.

I’m a realist, and my current plan is to be open as they get older that we don’t have a picture perfect marriage but that it’s certainly possible and something to aspire to.

I guess I can only hope that’s enough. [/quote]

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