Reply to Mother/Daughter Relationships

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Here are my concerns: 
That I will never see my grandchildren. (She only comes to see us when she is doing something with someone else). 
Her resentment of my other kids will polarize her from her siblings. (The thought of this sickens me!)

Do you think she will grow out of this? 
Do you think she will ever miss us and reconnect in a respectful way? 
If you blew off your parents, why? [/quote]

Do you even HAVE grandchildren? Stop worrying about problems that don't exist. If you do have grandchildren, well, when do you go to her? A relationship goes both ways, you know?
Your daughter is a married adult. Her relationship with her siblings is for her to work out, not you.  By you getting involved, you will think you're helping but you won't really be. Perhaps she needs to feel the reprecussions of her actions, hmmm?

We have no way of knowing if she'll grow out of "this." We don't even know what this is. 
No, she won't miss you until/unless she needs you. Sorry, that probably made you cry. But it's true. You want respect. What do you consider respect? For her to come visit you without also having someone else with her? Sorry, but that's standing on ceremony.  Perhaps she uses the other person as a buffer so she won't have to be alone with you. Maybe she's sitting in her house asking her friend if they think you will ever respect HER as a married adult woman. Maybe she views you as being jealous of her love for her in-laws.

Yes, I blew off my parents.  Because they treat our family like a cult, and I didn't want to be a cult member anymore.  "Nobody will ever love you as much as we do.  Nobody will ever help you like we will." My mother finds fault with all my friends and wants me to not be friends with them, so I'll be so desperate for friendship that I'll be her friend. I talk to them once or twice a month and things stay very superficial. [/quote]

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