Reply to Mother/Daughter Relationships

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[quote=Anonymous]I am in my mid 50's and need some advice from younger people.
My daughter is married, no kids.  She has totally blown off her family but is close to her in-laws.
In retrospect, this behavior started when she started dating this young man and has escalated.  In terms of full disclosure, we were not crazy about her husband in the beginning.  In the beginning, he made no effort to get to know us....we put in all the effort.  Over time, we warmed up to him, but it seemed we were just an inconvenience to him.  At their wedding he gave us a beautiful thank you, told us he loved us....we were so hopeful!
My daughter has considered us as "very close".  I am not sure that was ever so.  I feel like I have been used by her to get what she wants and has put me in the rear view mirror.  As a side, her husband is in a dead end job and makes very little money. 
I understand that every family has a "dance".  One of the qualities in his family is that everyone gets the same amount.  For instance, his parents bought on of their kids a couch, so they wrote a check to all the other kids for the amount they spent on the couch.  This is a practice we have never done in our home.  If I were to do the math, our daughter has been given a great deal more than the other kids.  She is now keeping track.....projecting that my sons future will get this and that.  
Right now, we are not speaking.  Her behavior is very hurtful to me and she claims I have a problem with everything and everyone. When I tried to approach the subject with her, she went for the jugular. We cannot talk about it.  She sends me emails that are flowey and mushbased I see them as fake.  I am the one who asked her to give me space.
Obviously, she is very spoiled.  FWIW: She was a difficult child to raise.
Here are my concerns:
That I will never see my grandchildren. (She only comes to see us when she is doing something with someone else).
Her resentment of my other kids will polarize her from her siblings.  (The thought of this sickens me!)

Do you think she will grow out of this?
Do you think she will ever miss us and reconnect in a respectful way?
If you blew off your parents, why?

I don't understand any of this.  My parents were jerks and we treated them with respect.  If we didn't, we were literally kicked around.  I know I was too soft.  I was very "understanding" when she was growing up.

Please help me with gentle advice.  I know I will get some virile responses.

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