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[quote=Anonymous]I stopped dating 13 years ago.

At first it was just I was too busy with a high stress demanding professional position and my last relationship had really put a nasty taste in my mouth about men. I'd dated a guy I was drawn to solely because he was a single father and I was at the closing door of fertility but had always yearned to be a mom. I quickly realized that he was going to control the manner of parenting while also expecting me to do all the crappy disciplinary and character shaping bits while he got all the credit for being easygoing fun playmate dad. And his ex was already prompting the "you're not my mom" messaging in the kids, despite playing nice to my face. No thanks!

The last decade I spent a bit of time grappling with serious health issues for which my doctors could not find any answers. I got really unfit and put on a bunch of weight. Dating was the furthest thing from my mind and I honestly felt no sadness about that. Now I'm in the reversing process and getting healthier every day but I still have no interest in envisioning a future that involves finding a man and building my life around his.

I hope to have another couple of decades of good health ahead of me (I'm 53), and I'm looking forward to embracing that time free of all the demands that have compelled me in the past, including all the relationship stuff. I'm very comfortable in my own skin, I enjoy my own company and I live with a collie dog so folks who know what that means - I already have my 'person' velcroed to me lol.

I want my home, however modest it might be, to always be a true refuge from the world. I want to always live in peace in my space - not to ever be subject to a domestic tyrant whether he rules by physical intimidation or emotional manipulation. I don't even want to walk on eggshells again - I grew up that way and in my years of dating and relationships I saw it far too often in my own partners and in the partners of friends and family. People you'd never suspect would reveal that kind of personality from under their mask, but do.

Life's too short to walk that path too many times. I can manage on my own, I have friends and family I care about to keep me socially connected when I need it, but as an anxious introvert I really like to cultivate a lot of solitude anyway. I pleasure myself when the urge arises, but in menopause that's not the burning desire it once was which has made the tolerance for BS go way down. I recognize myself as a biological being who was compelled for many years by a reproductive drive that no longer compels at all. I can be free of all that BS, and I am happy to be!

No more dating. Try it for a while and see how you like it.[/quote]

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