Reply to DH was a huge jerk to me today and I don't know what to do next

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[quote=Anonymous]If I had to guess, he's stressed out or hurt about something. It's not an excuse to act the way he did, but if it's so out of character, then something is up. Did you ask him what's wrong?

You also need to do some self-reflection on your reactions to his behavior. You didn't share what you said in response to either situation and your whole post is pretty one-sided. You're super focused on how YOU feel and what he said and did, but it doesn't sound like you're actually trying to understand WHY any of it happened. Moving his stuff on the shelf during the table argument is also passive-aggressive and petty and did nothing more than add fuel to the fire.

When you have BOTH calmed down, you need to have a discussion to find out what brought all of this on. If you find yourself following him into another room in order to resolve it in your preferred time frame, rethink that approach. He has to be ready to discuss it and his time frame may not match up with yours. And you need to listen to what he says to you when you have this discussion. Really listen. For example, you claim that you're so appreciative of the heavy lifting he did the other day, but then he called you lazy for not helping him. That tells me he's NOT feeling appreciated.

You both share blame here, but you can only control your own reactions and responses when something like this happens.

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