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[quote=Anonymous]My 88-year-old mom was in relatively good health and still in her house until last summer, when she started to lose weight and had constant anxiety and nausea. Many many docs and tests later, we have ruled out a brain tumor, GI problem, ear problem, every possible explanation. In the fall, she had a back injury and she and my stepfather had to move to independent living.

They no longer have to worry about cooking or doing much shopping. She recovered from the back injury and walks with a walker. But she is still miserable. She refuses to go down to the dining room or do any social activities at her independent living place. She no longer complains as much about nausea, but she says she sleeps only 4 hours a night with two Lunestas. She has lost 40 lbs since last June (from 157 to 117 lbs). She says she wants to die. She has been to a psych nurse but the only thing she's on is Lunesta. (She has been prescribed antidepressants, but for several months claimed that every med made her sick, so her chart now says she can't have them.)

My sister and I are ready to give up. I have told her if she wants to stop eating and drinking, I will support her, and we will get hospice into her apartment (even if we have to pay--I don't think a doc will say she has 6 months to live). I have read what this entails (Voluntarily Stop Eating and Drinking (VSED)). It sounds absolutely excruciating for the dying person and their family. It is also so hard to think about helping her do this when mentally, she still seems like her old self at times--still sharp, memory pretty good. But I can also see us reaching a point where we realize this is what she really wants and we all accept it and are at peace.

The only other option I have thought of is to give her some psychedelic drug to try top snap her out of her funk and depression. But I fear this would backfire and it would make her really sick and even more miserable.

Has anybody been in a similar situation, or had a parent without a terminal illness decide to VSED and die? Advice welcome. [/quote]

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