Reply to MIL always wants to randomly stop by

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MIL lives about two miles away and is always finding little reasons to stop by, things like, can she drop off muffins she made, can she swing by and deliver some soup she made, is it ok if she stops by and says hello to our children. Mind you, we do plan weekly or at least every other week visits, so she sees us. If we say it’s not a good time, or can we try for tomorrow, she gets upset and takes it as a personal affront, complains the muffins won’t be fresh, etc, or claims she won’t come in and will just drop it on the porch, and then lingers when we don’t come out. It’s so awkward. Is there a better way to handle this without hurting feelings? [/quote]

Jesus C this place never ceases to amaze. She wants to randomly stop by with muffins and soup. The nerve. You are a  sick puppy, OP. So is the PP who says, "Learn not to care about her hurt feelings." You are both damaged goods. [/quote]

I'm the PP you castigate so roundly. Because there is such a thing as busy families, and there is such a thing as people who overstay their welcome. It is extremely anxiety-inducing to be forced to make time and be polite to lovely, kind, generous people who also slow things down, make you late, make you distracted and error-prone because they are dividing your attention. Not only is your life made more difficult, but you feel guilty on top of it because the person seems so generous on the surface (also clueless, and in that cluelessness, rather rude, all things considered).

Maybe you're thinking of someone who knows to read the room and understands when to leave. If OP had such a MIL, she wouldn't be posting. She'd be so thankful to have someone help out! I know I would.

Clearly we're talking about a person who overstays their welcome.
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You should stop making yourself miserable trying to control everything and everyone. Just unclench.[/quote]

I am who I am. OP's MIL would drive me crazy. I also work in cancer research, where my perfectionism and ability to hyper focus on the task at hand is beneficial to my work. Our personalities all make us suited for certain activities and not others. Isn't it wonderful that we're all so different?

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Stop winning me over. It's pissing me off.  :wink: [/quote]

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