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Reply to "Dad is insufferable — help! "
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[quote=Anonymous]My dad is 82 years old and in bad health (although not likely to die anytime soon). I am 49. I am ashamed to say that it is only in the last few years that I’ve truly separated from my parents to see them for what they were and are — mostly good but terribly flawed too. My dad is and was a big personality and very needy. He takes up all the space. For example, he desperately wants adulation and attention. Given him an inch and he’ll take a yard, and he can’t help it. I even wonder if I was used to meet his emotional and psychological needs as a kid (of course he did!), inadvertently stunting my growth. Now that I see this more clearly, I am angry and have little patience for him and his behavior. He will talk endlessly and sometimes I am rude to him. In my mind, I’m thinking, shut up, but I don’t say that. Now that he is nearing the end, he is even worse — a grotesque and exaggerated version of himself: self involved, full of self pity. But I also feel guilty for feeling this way — guilty for pulling away from him when he needs me more than ever. It feels like a weighty burden that I want to be free of. Does anyone else feel this way? Help! [/quote]
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